and these could be the happiest days of my life

There are not a lot of Ecua days left. It is kind of getting me down lately. I don't know how I want to feel. I love Ecuador. I am in love with Ecuador. I love the people, even when they annoy or scare me. I love the food, even after the fifth day in a row of having rice. I love the buses, even though they pollute the environment more than ten million aerosol cans. I love doing my laundry and hanging it up on the roof, even if that means nervously getting down to my last pair of underpants. I love the weather, even when I have the annoyance of carrying around a rain coat I won't use. I love the language, even when I have to ask my host family to repeat their sentences two and three times. I love my classes, even though I usually only understand about 80% of what is going on.

I am learning so much here, about myself and about others. I love that I can travel with such ease. It would appear that I'm going to be working intensely on spring break plans; I'm learning how to do all these things on my own. I learn how to ask for help even when I am scared to do so. I am learning how to have bad days and know that they are still a valuable part of my experience. Last night, I left my phone at the bar and I didn't freak out when I couldn't find it. I knew that it would all be alright. While I learned the phrase keep calm and carry on in England, I am learning how to live it in Ecuador. Things happen, but you just have to roll with the punches and work with what you've got.

It's easy for me to be frustrated. There are times when I ask a taxi driver if they know where a certain intersection or place is, and he says yes, and then proceeds to not know exactly where he's going. Or when my shades will not open for the life of me. Or when I trip over the comforter that is about twice as big as my bed. It's easy for me to get annoyed (at myself and others) when I can't convey what I want to say, especially when I feel like I have explained myself very clearly and they still miss the point (cough cough culture professor).

I know this is all over the place, but I just have so many feelings! I think putting them away is just a bad idea. All I really know is that I will not be here much longer and that is terrifying and exciting at the same time.