Things of Late

01. Two exams, four essays, one presentation left: spread over 3 days of class.

02. Christina and I are in McDonald's and a little Ecuadorian girl says "hi girls" as she passes the first time, "hi girls again" the second.

03. We meet Marco from Germany. We proceed to prepare him his first ever s'more. He proceeds to eat 3 of them.

04. Quito floods- people evacuated from the Trolebús via little raft. Photo here.

05. The power goes out on our block because of aforementioned flood. I am showering, with shampoo in my hair and half of one leg shaved.

06. A lady is parked (literally) on the street corner. To my friend Juliana I say, "seriously?" The lady is right there and says "I'm sorry!" I see her son in the car and say "qué lindo!" (how pretty). I subsequently become the most awkward person of her day.

07. I pay a 25¢ bus fare with fifteen pennies and two nickels.

08. I take an Ecuadorian school bus a third of the way to school. For free.

09. I get irrationally possessive of the host family who is also wearing on me.

10. I register for my last fall semester of undergraduate work.

11. I become increasingly convinced that I will be the owner of a Mac before the end of summer.

12. I spend more than I earn in a month on gifts and souvenirs.

Ok I'm sick of writing like that haha. I really just want this semester to be finished (academically) and I am getting anxious to return to the U.S. but I also know I will cry my face off saying goodbye to my host family. I go back 4 weeks from today. By this time, I will be having Chinese food with my parents. I will go home and sleep in my own bed. I will get up the next day, get a hair cut then have lunch with Julie&Des&Laura. Then I will visit work, and the Niebuhr Center, and the Chaplain's Office. Then I will look for my roommate. I will ride my bike home alone in the dark and not be worried or scared. I am anxious for this..

I am beginning to dislike my volunteer work. It is strenuous to get up and go to work three times a week. I dislike being told the flowers I picked out are ugly. I dislike cutting my fingers when I prepare the vegetables. I especially don't like how I'm not convinced I made a damn bit of difference in the lives of the people I fed for 3 months. I am upset with my program coordinator for not having us write journals and cause us to make something out of this experiences. I am frustrated at the organization where I volunteer for not being more organized and having other things for me to do. I am, in general, just tired of this. Is it because I am not working toward justice?

I am also wondering if it is a spiritual thing. Lent has pretty much been nonexistent in my life while here. I have really not engaged with God in the ways I had hoped I would while here. The first time I prayed in a long time was when I found out Tucker (my dog) was showing signs of getting older and I asked God to help him wait until I got home so I could see him one more time. Between the service work I am doing and simply being in a new place, I anticipated being in a much different spiritual place at this point in my life. I'm not saying it's Gods fault; and I'm not necessarily saying it's my fault, either. All I feel confident in is the spiritual activity I will have when I return to a church community upon my return to the U.S.

So, I guess I am feeling a lot all at once but I also feel kind of disengaged from it.. I have my days and..there they are. I am running out of energy. I don't exactly know where to find it, either. Based on my last paragraph, you'd think I'd know the answer to that problem. I'll chug through the next four weeks and see where I end up.