Tuesday, November 12

An Act of Self Care

A couple weeks ago, I called my insurance provider and requested a list of mental health professionals within a mile and a half of my address. A list of 5 appeared in my inbox a few short minutes later.  After Googling each of them, I reached out to one. Her response also appeared in my inbox shortly after my request.

And then it sat there. As each day went by, I became more and more aware that the one time slot she still had open in her Berkeley office would probably be filled before I could wrap my head around being in therapy again.  In one of the few moments yesterday when I didn't feel grey and fuzzy all over, I e-mailed her to find out if that spot was still available. Weekly, on Thursdays. 10 am. Three blocks from campus.

On my way to class today, she called. We set our first meeting for this week. Two days from now.  As soon as I hung up the phone with her, there was a shift in my demeanor. I was cheerful, glad for the sake of being glad. Participating in class didn't take everything out of me.  I spent 5 hours with a new friend and conversation flowed easily.  The grey cleared, just for a few moments.

I'm very much looking forward to beginning therapy again.  Seeing Sarah in Nashville this summer helped me grow in ways I didn't know I could.  I am under no illusion that I will address everything that needs to be addressed, or that I will become a brand new person after beginning this new relationship.  What I am, however, expecting is to be a more authentic me.  Authenticity and integrity are two of my strongest core values.  Seeing a therapist empowers me to do both, gives me tools to do both.  While I won't be this public about the contents of my sessions with this new therapist, I will be public about my advocacy for all people to enter therapy.  Even if you don't feel grey or fuzzy, like I have been feelings for a few months, there is nothing as enriching and vibrant as growing further in your understanding of your_self.

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you. Thank you for doing this for yourself.

    ReplyDelete